Absence makes the heart grow fonder
If you had asked me many years ago, would I consider doing long distance, I would have said you’re crazy! In fact, Idrus and I did try long distance when I was freshly 19 and had decided to move to Sunshine Coast to study Graphic Design. Yup, fun fact about me. I didn’t last longer than two months though, before I packed up and moved back home. It was also my first time out of the nest, so I was also struggling without my family. Luckily, when I returned home, I was able to get my job back and settling back in was a breeze.
Fast forward five years, Idrus and I are currently attempting the LDR (long distance relationship) again. To be honest, it’s a whole lot easier now than it was the first time. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to say we are total pros at doing LDR but there are one or two things that I can help you with.
- Having the discussion – If LDR is currently up for discussion but you and your bae are still tossing up what to do, may I suggest that compromising and sacrifice is the key to making it work. I originally did not want to do LDR and wanted Idrus to come with me to Melbourne but moving to Melbourne only to return to Perth at the end of my studies would have been a financial strain on us.
- Visit often – We agreed that every school holiday and long weekends, I would fly to Perth to visit Idrus.
- Have a goal in mind – Our goal is to get through the year and once I graduate, I’ll go back to Perth and settle down with a job so we can travel, buy a house and start a family.
- Enjoy your alone time – Now is the time to spend time with yourself, your friends and family. I’m pretty lucky to be in the same city with two of my best friends at the moment, whom I see regularly. I even get to spend time with my family who I haven’t seen in a while as well.
- Communication – Thank God for technology! I don’t believe that Idrus and I should talk every minute of every day. Sometimes we just send a text here or there if we want to share something that just happened or simply to say Good Morning. Good Night warms the heart too. We do have a routine though; during the week when Idrus is driving home, he will call me and we will chat for 20 minutes until he gets home – hands free of course!. Sometimes we will text later at night and sometimes we don’t. It’s ok to not talk all the time! This is something I have learned just recently too.
- Communication Part II – Be honest with each other and don’t forget to tell each other your feelings. As corny as this sounds, stay connected, emotionally.
- FaceTime – Surprisingly, Idrus and I don’t FaceTime often, but it’s nice to have that option available.
- Stay strong – The amount of times I have called Idrus crying, wanting to give up and come home is countless. I’m pretty lucky to have found someone who supports me in my aspirations in life but who also is concerned about my well being as well. Don’t be afraid to lean on your partner when times get tough.
- Save – Even though you may have already scheduled when you will visit one another, keep some extra cash on the side as well for a rainy day.
- Trust – This is important. You will not survive without it.
These tips are the reasons Idrus and myself have lasted five months apart so far. It is true when they say there is “light at the end of the tunnel”.
If you made it this far in today’s post then I guess it’s a sign that I didn’t bore you. I hope this helps you in one way or another and don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions.
Lastly, if you have any tips to add to the post then please feel free to leave your tips in the comment bar below. I’d love to hear them.
Ciao for now.